found the other keg... it's in the tree
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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