I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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