is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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