Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
