She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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