i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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