Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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