im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
