you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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