Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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