sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
