If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
