I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
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