We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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