naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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