id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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