just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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