One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
