I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
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hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
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My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes