Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
