I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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