Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
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So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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