after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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