I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
