So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
