Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
