so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
