last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just want to make out with him forever
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
