I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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