my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
