Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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