I wanna bring you to show and tell
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
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he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
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I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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