Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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