And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
