Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize