The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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