i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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