Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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