He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
