Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
