lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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