I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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