I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
