So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
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