Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
