does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
