i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
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I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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