I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
