Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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