i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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