I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize