ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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