forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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