He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
