i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
