why didn't you poke me back
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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