atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
