i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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