But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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