i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think your dad took our porno
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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