I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I touched a dick in church today
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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