I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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