We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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