Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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