drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
