Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
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I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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