Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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